Valentines Day

Valentine's Day Funny Poems

Because many men are bad at expressing their feelings, let alone write poetry, we have this "form poem" to help you along.

Oh, (put lover's name here) thou art so gorgeous
Your eyes so (eye color here) are like that of a temptress
With your love you have made me complete.
My passion burns like (pet name) when she is in heat

The love you give me spreads like an infection
Which is why (name of girl who dumped you) gave me a rejection
So let me reveal a secret to you
And then you can decide what you must do
Buy Valentines Day Lingerie Online

I'm so desperate I could turn to sodomy,
Stop this desire before I have a lobotomy.
So on this Valentine's night
Wear the silk nightie, and don't put up a fight.

Night of Valentine's Day

Twas the night made for lovers
Called St. Valentine's
And I was sick on the couch
From eating candy hearts that said "Be mine"

The phone was not ringing
And there was no one about
My girl had left me yesterday
Because of a domestic spout.

There was no dinner on the stove
No roses in the vase
I was so lonely,
Just Chilling to Nas.

I was left alone with nothing to do
Then to my sudden surprise
I looked up from the couch
And a TV ad caught my eyes

If I dialed 900-talk smut
And put my ear to the phone
Some disgusting woman, possibly a slut
Would relieve me of being alone.

All they needed was a credit card
To keep me warm on V-Day
A few dirty remarks
And I felt like I had gotten a lay.

That's the way of phone sex
On V-day when you are single
Give them a call,
So your pants might feel a tingle.